My ex-spouse and I do not communicate very well right now; we use email and text to talk about our kids but the messages seem so nasty. What can I do?

First, take a breath!

Resist the temptation to respond immediately.

Take the time to consider whether you need to respond at all and if you do, consider trying a BIFF Response.

This approach, developed by the High Conflict Institute, recommends being brief, informative, friendly and firm.

• Keep it short and resist getting personal.

• Stick to the facts.

• Show empathy in your comments and avoid sarcasm and threats.

• Use a friendly or professional greeting and closing.

• Be firm in a matter-of-fact way and try not to invite further discussion – state your concern or information, close your message, and stop.

There are many resources, with great suggestions like this one, available for parents to improve their communication. To get started, consider consulting with a Divorce Coach, as these professionals are trained in supporting people going through separation or divorce and are skilled at assisting parents with improving their boundaries, their communication, and their relationships with their children and with their children's other parent.